How to Help a Teen Struggling with Bullying

Bullying can turn a teenager’s world upside down. One day they’re happy and confident, the next, they’re anxious about going to school or checking their phone. As a parent or carer, watching this unfold is tough. But you can make a difference. 

Recognising When Something’s Wrong

Teens are masters at hiding their problems. They worry about seeming weak. Or they think telling an adult will make everything worse. So, how do you know if bullying’s the issue?

Watch for changes. A sociable teen who suddenly wants to eat lunch alone in their room. Mysterious illnesses that only strike on school days. Maybe their favourite hoodie has gone missing again. Or they’ve “lost” their PE kit for the third time this term.

Some signs are subtler. Your teen might start making negative comments about themselves. Their sleep pattern changes. They seem jumpy when notifications ping on their phone. Trust your instincts here. If something feels off, it probably is.

Starting the Conversation

Getting a teenager to open up requires patience and timing. Cornering them with “We need to talk” rarely works. Instead, look for natural moments. Maybe when you’re cooking together. Or during a dog walk.

Keep it casual at first. “How’s things at school?” often gets better results than “Are you being bullied?” If they do start talking, bite your tongue. Let them get it all out before offering advice. Sometimes they just need someone to listen. 

Taking Action

Once you know what’s happening, it’s tempting to charge in and fix everything. But slow down. Work with your teen to decide the best approach.

Start documenting incidents. Keep a diary of what happened, when, and who was involved. If it’s cyberbullying, take screenshots. Don’t delete anything, however horrible it is. You might need this evidence later.

Contact the school, but do it thoughtfully. Find out who handles bullying issues. Book a proper meeting rather than catching someone in the corridor. Go in calm and prepared. Ask specific questions about their anti-bullying policy. What steps will they take? How will they protect your child? When will they update you?

Building Strength and Support

While you tackle the bullying itself, help your teen build resilience. This isn’t about toughening up. It’s about giving them tools to cope.

Find activities where they can shine. Maybe it’s joining a climbing club. Learning guitar. Volunteering at an animal shelter. Success in one area of life can cushion the blows in another.

Professional support helps too. If you’re fostering a teenager through Orange Grove Foster Care, they offer specialist support for situations like this. School counsellors can also provide a safe space to talk.

When to Get Extra Help

Sometimes bullying leaves deeper scars. If your teen talks about self-harm or seems severely depressed, act quickly. Call your GP. Contact YoungMinds or Childline. There’s no shame in needing professional support. 

Recovery takes time. Some days will be better than others. Your teen might take two steps forward, then one back. That’s normal. What matters is that they know you’re in their corner. No matter what.

With patience, persistence and the right support, teens can come through bullying stronger. They learn they’re tougher than they thought. And that’s a lesson worth learning.